The Married Kama Sutra

When the man is loading the dishwasher, and the woman must come over, because he is loading it wrong, it is called “the dishwasher position.”

When the man passes gas in front of the woman, without so much as an apology, it is called “the shifting of the standards.”

When the man and the woman have eaten Indian food, and are too swollen with rice to make conversation, let alone love, it is called “the beaching of the whales.”

When the woman catches the man performing self-congress next to her in bed, and incredulously says “Really?” and then he just turns away and keeps going, it is called “the determined jackrabbit.”

When the man lightly kisses the woman’s neck, and the woman tenderly strokes the man’s chest, and the child runs into the room screaming, because he heard a scary noise, or some other bullshit, it is called “the interrupted congress.”