Francis Fairfeather
This real-estate mogul has property in the deli pipe that blasts out meat wind, the gap in the train platform—basically, wherever people didn’t care enough to put spikes.
David Hornby-Wenning
Like accents? David grew up on the leafy streets of London and is the heir to a vast biscuit fortune (one biscuit). Don’t like accents? Cool, he can’t talk.
Stephan Proudfoot
Bird-about-town Stephan is one of those not-quite-as-hideous brown ones.
Clarke St. Branch
Clarke’s list of celebrity romances includes the pigeon that Rachel trapped in a pot on “Friends” and the eagle that scared Trump.
Claudio Wheatleaf
Entrepreneur Claudio crowdfunded a pile of seeds at the tender age of featherless and blind. Lock up your daughters, because this Lothario mates for life (around six years).
Benedict Elderberry
Held a high-level position on Wall Street until someone shooed him away. Now Benedict spends most of his time in the glorious upstate countryside, because why doesn’t every pigeon do that? They can just do that.