Oh, hey, I remember you! We met at that neighborhood-association meeting last year. You called me “girlfriend” a lot, and then later sent me a friend request, along with a message about getting lunch. (I’m sorry I never responded to that, by the way—things have just been so crazy!)
I know you’re probably busy, so I’ll make this quick. I’m writing to say thank you for the thoughtful posts on my Facebook page today. With just a few words and thirteen photos of black babies and white babies holding hands, you’ve helped me understand race in a way that I, a black woman, have never understood it before.
Yesterday, when I shared a post that read, “Ask yourself if the white people in your life are allies or part of the problem,” I’ll admit that I initially considered turning off the comments. As you’ve no doubt noticed, tense arguments about racism and police brutality are popping up all over social media this month, and people are losing friends both on Facebook and I.R.L. I worried that problem-solving dialogue couldn’t happen on the Internet, but you’ve proved me wrong.
Your first comment was “Try not to use words like ‘white’ because racism hurts all people.” Usually, unsolicited advice rubs me the wrong way, but I knew you had good intentions because you added a smiley-face emoji. That small, yellow face told me that, finally, I’d found someone willing to have the tough discussions in a civil manner. I took a deep breath, clicked “Reply,” and prepared myself to discuss the centuries-long oppression of my people with you, my newfound confidante.
But before I could finish typing—another notification! This time, you’d shared something directly on my page. When I clicked the link to find thirteen photos of black babies and white babies holding hands, I swear to you, I actually gasped.
You see, my friend, I’ve had it all wrong! First of all, I didn’t even know that black babies and white babies could hold hands. I assumed that racism was in their DNA from the moment of conception, making their tiny palms repel like matching poles on two magnets. A more stubborn person might say that these images were Photoshopped, but I’ve never been one to argue with conclusive evidence. You even took the time to add the caption “Racism is taught,” a profound idea that will forever alter the way I think about and discuss both racism and babies.
Really, I can’t thank you enough. Here I was, relying on my own lived experiences in order to interpret race relations, when you had actual proof.
P.S.: You might notice that now no one can leave comments on my Facebook page, but that is simply because I feel there is nothing to add. Together, you and I have figured this out.
