WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—As new details emerge from this week’s summit in Singapore, the White House has confirmed that Donald J. Trump unilaterally offered to let Kim Jong Un have Mike Pence as his personal manservant.
The offer reportedly came after Kim spoke glowingly to Trump about the Vice-President’s obsequiousness, sources said.
“Even by North Korean standards, Pence puts my toadies to shame,” Kim reportedly said.
Once the necessary paperwork is squared away, Pence could begin bowing and scraping in Pyongyang as early as next week.
Going forward, Pence’s duties as senior sycophant to Trump are expected to be performed by Representative Devin Nunes, Republican of California.
Although State Department insiders were taken by surprise by Trump’s offering of Pence, for whom the U.S. will receive nothing in return, the deal has been met with nearly universal approval.
“At least Trump didn’t give away much this time,” one diplomat said.
