“The Masked Singer and the Masked Judges and the Masked Crew and We Explored the Idea of a Masked Live Audience but Nixed It for Obvious Reasons”
As a safety precaution, contestants will no longer remove their anthropomorphic costume heads to reveal their B-list faces, which means that performers’ true celebrity identities will remain eternally shrouded in mystery. Sound unsatisfying? It is!
The Dozen Quarantine Rom-Coms We’ll Be Subjected To
Twentysomething Mia breaks up with her live-in, graphic-designer boyfriend, Tom—but now they’re stuck in quarantine together?! This is going to be one bumpy ride. Meanwhile, Mia’s best friend, Amina, develops feelings for her roommate Trey. But Trey has been exchanging messages with Josie over Hinge, and, though they’ve never met, Trey is certain that she’s “the one.” Also, it turns out that Josie’s brother . . . is Tom, who is starting to wonder if maybe there’s still a spark with Mia after all? Or some forty-odd variations of that.
“Zoom Table Read: The Cast of ‘Tiger King’ ”
The cast of “Tiger King” returns via Zoom to perform a table read of a transcription of the docuseries “Tiger King.” Joe Exotic has been recast with David Spade.
“Man vs. Indoors”
The survival instructor and adrenaline seeker Bear Grylls is back with the ultimate survival challenge: staying indoors as mandated by government-issued quarantine. Over the course of the season, Bear guides viewers through a series of survival challenges including how to outsource physical and emotional intimacy to your houseplants, whether or not you still have to make conversation with your roommate, and combating the existential malaise of days blending into months as you stare at your ceiling from the couch, wondering if this will ever end and you can just, like, go wander around a Target. Perhaps, ultimately, the real battle is man versus . . . himself?
“M*A*S*H” (1972)
It’s been long enough that we figure we can just recycle this one, and basically no one will notice.
“Sounds & Images”
From the producers who brought you every iteration of “The Bachelor” and whatever’s on the CW these days, comes more than eight thousand hours of never-before-seen cutting-room-floor content to play absentmindedly in the background while you scroll the Internet. You can expect acoustic pop covers! Skyline shots of New York; Los Angeles; and Tacoma, Washington! Waves crashing on the sand! An extended accidental shot of craft services! Actors well into their twenties attempting to pass for teen-agers! A sporadic laugh track! A scene that’s mostly blocked by a guy who stood right in front of the camera. Is there a plot? Maybe! Does it matter? Does anything?
Reunion Special of the “Zoom Table Read: The Cast of ‘Tiger King’ ”
The cast of “Zoom Table Read: The Cast of ‘Tiger King’ ” reunites for the first time in this special, hosted by Nicole Byer. David Spade has been recast with Dax Shepard.
“Internet! But on TV!”
The producers of the smash hit “Sounds & Images” are back at it with “Internet! But on TV!,” a new thriller that takes viewers from the safety of browsing promotional e-mails to the perils of scrolling through the Instagram feed of an ex’s new flame. Make sure to tune in for the season finale, which leaves viewers with the major cliffhanger: do you actually order that immersion blender in your online shopping cart? We’ll have to wait until Season 2 to find out!
“(You’re In) Jeopardy!”
It’s just “Jeopardy,” but the prize money has been converted from dollars to sheets of toilet paper at a one-to-one ratio.
“The First Annual Hunger Games”
We’re about there, right?
