Jogger 1: Ah, what a lovely day for a jog through the park. It’s so nice that we can do this activity together, publicly, as a couple.
Jogger 2: Yes, running is one of my favorite things that I genuinely enjoy, as well as hiking and camping.
Jogger 1: I derive pleasure from all those activities as well.
Jogger 2: We share exactly the right number of common interests.
Jogger 1: But we still introduce each other to new experiences. Our dates are always adventurous. Like last weekend, when we took a drive to the farmers’ market, which turned into a spontaneous road trip to Portland.
Jogger 2: Or on Tuesday, when we took a salsa-dancing class together.
Jogger 1: Or last night, when you were doing ninety miles per hour down a dark country road and we hit a strange bump and you started to cry but I yelled at you to just keep driving and we didn’t look back.
Jogger 2: Yes, it’s important to keep things fresh.
Jogger 1: Agreed. Neither of us is out of breath in the slightest. That’s probably because we’re only three per cent body fat. Collectively.
Jogger 2: And because of our large lung capacity, which also comes in handy during oral sex.
Jogger 1: Which we enjoy several times a week.
Jogger 2: But not, like, an excessive amount that feels like a burden.
Jogger 1: Speaking of, it’s too bad your parents never come visit.
Jogger 2: Yes, sadly, they are trapped on a research facility in Antarctica until the thaw.
Jogger 1: And my parents happen to visit only when you’re out of town.
Jogger 2: What a weird coincidence!
Jogger 1: The weirdest!
Jogger 1: It’s nice that, even though we’ve been together a while and are of a certain age, we don’t feel any pressure to get married.
Jogger 2: Besides, it would be unfair for us to get married until everyone in this country can get married.
Jogger 1: . . . Everyone can can.
Jogger 2 (Panicking): I meant, until pot is legalized.
Jogger 1: Yeah! It wouldn’t be fair for us to get married until everyone in this country can get baked on ganja.
Jogger 2 (Relieved): Exactly. Say, what should we do for dinner tonight?
Jogger 1: I don’t know, what do you want to do?
Jogger 2: How about sushi?
Jogger 1: We just did that last week.
Jogger 2: We could eat at home?
Jogger 1: No, I want to go out.
Jogger 2: How about the Italian place on Eighth?
Jogger 1: But not there.
Jogger 2: Why don’t we just keep running around the park until we faint from physical exhaustion and don’t have to make any decisions?
Jogger 1: Sounds perfect.
