“Born in the U.S.A., but Was There a Birth Certificate? You Tell Me. Some People Say That Was Not His Birth Certificate. Maybe It Was, Maybe It Wasn’t. I’m Saying I Don’t Know. Nobody Knows.”
“My Home Town, but Not the Inner Areas, Which Are Very Dangerous, Historically”
“Fifty-Seven Channels (And They’re All Lying and Totally, Totally Disgusting)”
“Fourth of July, Gorky Park (Vandy)”
“Something in the Night, Never Mind, It’s Only the Ghost of Our Functioning Democracy”
“Streets of Philadelphia Are Overrated and Should Be Immediately Defunded”
“Darkness on the Edge of Town Because We Elected the Anti-Electricity Candidate to Run the Power Company”
“Glory Days, Just Great, Really Amazing Days. These Days, Let Me Tell You, Were Tremendous—and Very, Very Successful—a Great Success of Days. You’ve Never Seen Days This Glorious, Believe Me. Also, the President Can’t Have a Conflict of Interest. It’s Impossible.”
“Born to Run an Explosive Exposé About the Secret Link Between the Clinton Foundation and the Vatican Banking Scam that Funnelled Millions to Obama”
“Working on the Highway, and Bridges, and Tunnels—a Huge Infrastructure Bill, Huge! Even the Weak Democrats Agree.”
“Rosalita (Who Was Like a Seven, or an Eight at Most, But Is Now Disgusting—This Is Someone Who Really Likes to Eat)”
“De-Thunder Road and Immediately Replace”
“Dancing in the Dark, Because No Policy Information Has Been Released and Media Outlets Have Been Blacklisted”