NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—With thirteen days until his scheduled return to oblivion, many Americans are unsure if they can tolerate that much additional exposure to Rudy Giuliani, a leading psychologist said on Wednesday.
As millions of Americans actively count down the days until Giuliani disappears forever, thirteen more days of him “seems like a lifetime,” Davis Logsdon, a psychologist who has been studying the Giuliani ordeal, said.
“Americans’ traumatic experience of Rudy Giuliani in 2016 has gone through several phases,” Logsdon said. “First, they struggled to remember who he was. Then, once they remembered, they recoiled in horror. Finally, they began actively wishing he would go away forever. That is the phase many people find themselves in today.”
Even as they long for the day when Giuliani resumes his rightful place in obscurity, many Americans are experiencing feelings of anger and disbelief that he was permitted to crawl back into their consciousness to begin with, Logsdon said.
“Of the many inexcusable things that cable news has done this election, repeatedly subjecting Americans to Rudy Giuliani is at the top of the list,” he said. “The human cost has been enormous.”
As they struggle to endure the final thirteen days of Rudy Giuliani, Americans should not feel isolated or alone, Logsdon said. “They need to know that there are millions of people just like them, and even more who are unsure if they can stand another thirteen days of Kellyanne Conway,” he said.
